Brain Leakage

A Good Start from the Dream that Woke Me

2011-10-18T05:41:00.001+08:00

Up too early on my birthday, I can't seem to get back to sleep. This is all thanks to an awesome dream I had minutes ago.

The dream, as hazy as some parts are, was me having the time of my life: I was the opening act for the upcoming Jason Mraz concert here in Manila. Two songs, one from him and another I can't recall. Oh, and this was in some sort of food bazaar - I have no idea what for.

The scene plays out, I finish my songs and head home knowing I was to return the next day for the other shows. I greet my folks and see everyone else talking about working out and stuff. I go up to my room and wake up.

I was smiling.

I then turn to my phone, which is always beside me, to check the time. I see messages came in overnight. I automatically check mobile Facebook and see the same on my wall. All I thought was how people stayed up so late and that they should get some sleep.

I thanked my texters and posted a thank you note for the first wave of online greets, and then I try to get back to bed.

That fails and now I'm blogging from the dining room, having breakfast an planning to finish the first Assassins Creed right after.

So far so good :)

Stuck in the Middle of a Cat Fight

2011-08-11T15:20:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks, I've been sitting in the middle of a conflict of sorts. At first, I thought to do something about it, but according to others, these types of things should be left alone - to let it fix itself. With that in mind, I moved on.

Although things have been going pretty alright for me, I can't help but think about the situation. Why is it still getting worse? What the heck am I supposed to do? Should I just sit still and wait for it, or do I intervene? It's messed up since it doesn't seem like things are getting fixed anytime soon.

The situation involves two friends: one just came out of a relationship, while the other gets caught in the skerfuffle. The fight stems from the fact the Person 2 gave advice when Person 1 wanted things to be left alone. Person 2 thinks she did the right thing, Person 1 despises her for what she did. So now, at least in my opinion, the problem lies in how things got presented to each party. With the lack of communication that went around, I don't think anyone has a clear picture of what happened.

This brings us to the next dilemma. Of course, my advice to both of them was to meet up, talk about things, and hopefully make up. Problem: Person 2 wants to meet up but person 1 wont unless Person 2 apologizes. Person 2 won't apologize because she doesn't see what she did wrong.

So, where will things go from here? As a guy, I've been told to just let the girls deal with things. As a friend, I can't stand seeing them act this way toward each other. I think its high time that someone becomes the bigger person because nothing's going to happen if everyone just keeps mum about the situation, as their relationship slowly fades into obscurity.

Just sayin'.

Its Just Simple Algebra

2011-06-06T18:16:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure when it all started but, until recently, I developed a new way of thinking about things. More specifically, a new way of dealing with the challenges I face everyday. In fact, its also one of the staple messages I tell my friends when they need a hand, and it goes a little something like this:

Life is just like Algebra. In order to get things done properly, you have to solve x before y.

PEMDAS, much?

Now, if you substitute "x" and "y" with your everyday tasks, problems, issues, and what-not, you will surely be able to handle things better. I mean, right? It coincides with the whole "don't let things pile up" and "take things one at a time" advice category.

This actually makes sense, no matter how much you might think this as the nerdiest thing ever. I mean, how else do we go about our days as effective citizens of the world? Obviously, doing this saves you from the added stress that you will definitely experience just thinking of how much work you have left to do. This kind of approach will not give you the best results; in fact, it'll always give you the wrong answers.

Now, I can confidently say that Algebra has proven useful in life. Now the only thing left to do is make it generate more money. lol.

Oh, Algebra. :)

This Says It All

2011-05-11T23:04:00.002+08:00

Click Me! :)

Hope this makes your day as bright as mine after I saw it.

Who's Gonna Say, "By Your Powers Combined?"

2011-05-11T22:31:00.006+08:00

Having recently joined the Philippines Planeteers, I have made it a point to share it with everyone I knew - at least through Facebook. Thing is, I would really like to see it grow farther than my network.

Now why in the world am I making a fuss about such a thing? I mean, there must be other things out there I could focus on?

Well, ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to be a Planeteer. From using a fake ring as my power source to practicing the lessons I learned from every "Planeteer Alert" segment in the show; I wanted to make a difference. Years later, here I am. Learning about the movement through Twitter, being led to the main site, and finding the Facebook page; I found myself to be the third, and first Filipino, member of the group.

Where does it go from here? How do I keep this thing moving without losing track of everything else? Of course, it already occurred to me that someone has to lead from the country, but do I have it in me? Organizing meetings and keeping note of the club's status; it seems like a lot of work and I barely have time to do anything because of the day job.

How do people do it? Do I NEED to be a celebrity to get things done? LOL.

For now, i'll focus on getting more people signed up. Who knows? By the time the member count increases, I could actually push myself to do something.

Eight Months In

2011-04-14T23:28:00.007+08:00

Last I wrote, I was going for an interview to become a Web Content Writer. Guess what? Yep, I got in.

Its been eight months since I last posted. Obviously, i've been busy with work. Still though, work shouldnt have gotten in the way of me posting. I guess it took another "trigger" for me to realize its about time for another update on whats been going on with me and my mind.

The Trigger

While at work, for some weird reason, I got to thinking about going back to blogging. Actually, a colleague of mine suggested the department try it out since its good practice and all. With that in mind, I kept telling myself to go for it but wasnt able to find the drive that I used to have when it comes to writing...

I mean, come on. I write all day.

Why would I want to do the same thing once I got home?

Thats the thing. This is actually good therapy for me - or whoever, for that matter.

So, I was finally pushed back in the blogosphere when a friend of mine made a couple of tweets quoting my previous post. Honestly... I felt good. Who wouldve known that what I said actually proved useful for someone else. After this, I made it a point to write as soon as I could, hence me. here. now.

It really is something when you get to affect someone else's life with your words. It works wonders, really. In addition to this, I even got to thinking myself. Taking in the stuff ive written in the past and absorbing what there is to absorb, I know I can keep this up.

Ill be posting more. And soon. :)

Inspired Edsel is... Inspired. :)

For now, say hello to Ruff. The cutest, most spoiled poodle on the face of the earth... within the perimeter of our home at least. LOL

"What're you looking at?"

(The message I get whenever I see this shot of him. ROFL)

Eating From My Own Mind Pie

2010-08-12T23:40:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow, I have an interview for a Content Writer position and I was asked to provide writing samples to showcase my lingual prowess. Since, I've never done any articles, or what-not, I decided to search through my old blogs and use three from there instead.

As I was going through my old Multiply blogs, I got reminded of something I've lost in the past months of unemployment. I lost my spark. A close friend of mine reminded me of this days ago and now I'm seeing it myself. I was burning with it; I could feel my own passion from the entries I've posted. It makes me wonder what happened to my state of mind. Perhaps this vacancy has clouded my mind on how I should really be perceiving things. Instead of dwelling on all the negative aspects of my life right now, I should have been focusing more on the things I should be grateful for. As a start, I will list down 10 things I am grateful for today, as I did back then, from reading the awesome J. Mraz's blogs:

10. That I got up this morning
9. For the people who are always there to support me
8. For the internet, and how it makes things so accessible
7. Working out and endorphine-izing myself
6. For all the skills I have, ready to be utilized
5. A house to come home to
4. Having made right decisions
3. Learning from my wrong decisions
2. Phone calls with sane people
1. Finding my spark again

Right now, although not in full power yet, I am ready to get back on the happy leaf and am ready to make it infectious again.

Smile, you're awesome, whoever's reading this! :)

Grab a Seat and Look Up

2010-05-26T23:35:00.009+08:00

Sometimes, inspiration sneaks up on you like a ninja that before you even see it coming, BAM!, it hits you right on the head. I just had to make sure I wrote it down before it fades into the eternal roundabout of a brain I have.

I was catching up with Nicole via Yahoo Messenger about an hour, or so, ago, and we were talking about different ideas on where we could eventually apply to get new careers starting. I told her about my recent waking up and sudden urge to find something for myself out there. She, too, was doing the same, and even got a headstart. Then, after a few exchanges, the idea of the "right" job falling on our laps came up.

When you say something, figuratively, falls on your lap, what does it really mean? Was it THAT easy to get what you wanted? Did the universe conspire to focus all it's positive energy on you just for that day? Will it happen again? Well, here's what I came up with it during our conversation:

I used to think that if I kept that idea in mind, I could just wait for it to "fall". But the thing about falling is you never really know where it's going to land. My point would be, in this scenario, finding a job, just waiting for it to fall will lead you nowhere. This is why we HUNT for jobs and jobs dont HUNT for us (well, at least in most cases).

As the title suggests, we all have our chairs to carry around. Now the problem is, where do we put our chairs? And would it be ideal to sit on it on that spot? Will what I want fall here?

Finding the right spot will fall by chance. When you're there, it takes time, but it eventually gets to you. In some cases, it doesn't at all and that just means you're on the wrong spot. One thing you can do about that is to move your chair. It may sound risky and time consuming, but I think it's the only way for one person to find out what he really wants at the same time. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, that the only way to acquire something you really, really want, is by doing something you want to do; it goes hand in hand.

The passage that best describes this would be one of my favorite lines that I've heard when I did my first training exercise in my past job. It says to:

...love what you do, who you're with, where you are. If not, try harder. If that doesn't work, change something. If that still doesn't work, leave.

Don't get me wrong. Leaving for the right reasons doesnt mean you are giving up. If you've exhausted everything in that spot and you still have an empty lap, then sometimes it's better to do what was advised.

To sum up: Grab your chair, find your spot, sit & look around, and voila! on your lap you'll see it.

I'm not trying to disprove the saying. What I want to project is that it takes some action from our side (Grabbing the chair), as well, for things to keep moving our way.

So, relative to my situation, instead of moping around, Im grabbing my chair and finding my spot.

And just as an add-on, the chair doesn't always mean a job, it could be anything that YOU want, or strive for.

Where's your spot? :)

This Awesome Rut

2010-05-25T14:33:00.004+08:00

I've been complaining, to myself at least, about the situation that I'm currently in.
Back when I had a job, I was all over the place. Did this, did that, did things that didnt need doing, blah dee blah. And now...

Im not.

Had to leave work because of some plans that have been made which didn't come to pass and now I'm "stuck" here at home trolling the internets.

I need to find work again.

Here I am, suddenly refreshing myself with blogs I used to read and things I used to ponder on. I ask myself, "Why did I stop?" No wonder I've been feeling down and out this past month.

A friend of mine always tells me when I rant to just do things and stop complaining. That is true. I should do more and talk less. I guess maybe I can maximize this jobless state and see what I can do with it; be productive. Enrich myself and get equipped for what's to come. Whatever that may be.

And, for crying out loud, I should stop thinking that I'm the only one in this situation. Everyone goes through this and most people get out of it and succeed.
As usual, the answer should revolve around staying positive and imbuing the right meaning in things. I will learn to embrace the situation and help it/myself grow.

2010-04-26T11:52:00.003+08:00

Just got back from vacation, and for some reason, I don't seem as relaxed as I expected myself to be. Yes, I felt the escape factor while I was in the island and it was great. Just to be away from everything in the city made me feel free. Now that I'm back though... things just seem so bleh.

Someone once told me that feeling depressed, or plain sad, is under your control. This is true. You are in control of your emotions. Usually, there's a reason, or root, for all the sadness. Also, there is always a solution, although it doesn't seem to make itself obvious most of the time. In my case, I have been trying to control my emotions a little more over the past year and it does work for me. The only thing I got to think about while I was away was that I feel scared that I might be repressing my emotions too much. I'm the type of person who usually talks my problems out and shares and needs opinions. When I say opinions, I don't mean that I let people dictate how I should feel, but I surely take everyone's POV into consideration.

For the most part, I don't want to explode into a thousand fragments of my own issues and do collateral damage to everyone around me. sigh.

Someone Else's Glasses

2009-12-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

As usual, each day gives you more to learn about yourself amongst other things. Now what was today's? Well, its more about how you have a certain perspective, or even way of living, that seemed to be good for you, when on the other hand, others see as something that needs to be worked on. This doesnt mean to invalidate every factor of your life to be able to become anew, maybe its more of something that needs polishing.

I wont start off by saying, or at least pondering, on why this is so. I will just state that maybe wearing other people's "glasses" would help you see things in a different light, or frame given the comparison. Try wearing someone else's frames for a change and take a good look at yourself. You'd be surprised at what you never thought was there, may it be a plus or a minus.

Purpose Found... Maybe

2009-11-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

I was just thinking about finding a purpose for this blog. I think I may have pinpointed what it is I want to be able to do with my online words. I want to INSPIRE.

As a Mraz tune is playing in the background, it just hit me. What effect would I want to have on my readers, no matter how many they are? I was browsing through The Julie/Julia Project this morning, which I would have to admit, made me go back to blogging. Fine, fine, it might not have been the best reason to start, call it what you want, but it inspired and thats the exact same thing I want to be able to do.

Speaking of inspiration, I may credit another blogger/artist I adore for my rush of words and brain spamming, Mr. J. Mraz, for opening my eyes to a new perspective. Well, not exactly new, more of lost and found and willing to live by. I will try to, as much as i can, live in gratitude for the things around me and let my inner hippie flourish and bathe at the same time. Haha.

So, if I were to state a goal for this, I will post, whenever I can, situations I go through wherein I get to inspire in any way I can. Aside from that, my usual rambles will still make their cameos.

Let's see what comes up next.

See ya.

Reconnected Through The Lines

2009-11-19T16:33:00.000+08:00

Its been a couple of years now since my foreign-exchange stint in Alaska and am still missing it; the weather, the easy living, and the people i met. Thank goodness for Facebook! All my friends from Skyview High I am now linked to through the site. Was just thinking though, most of my other co-exchange students, ive lost touch with, especially the close ones. Its strange how after that year, i never heard from them again. its sad, really. I tried searching everywhere and emailing to no avail. Its funny how the ones i wasnt super close to are the ones who stayed in touch with me. *sigh*

^this is Masa, the exchange student from Japan, and me during Study Hour, or whatever its called back then where its a class where you do homework from other classes. We'd usually just play Pictionary: Movies. Oh, and yes, i look like a doof.

As for everyone else, I think ive kept them up to speed on how things are here in my Home Country. I just wish there was a way to get everyone back together in some island somewhere. haha! why not, right?

All I know now is that its one of my goals in life to be able to go back to Alaska to see everyone... at least whoever's left there since most of the students take University in a different state.

*super sigh*

The Bird Cloud

2009-11-15T01:17:00.000+08:00

First, the video:

As i viewed this video, i just stayed in awe. As much as I was in awe when I saw 2012 the other night; with my jaw dropped aghast. Things like these, or what was stated, make me wonder about how everything seems to be. Earlier, in my commute home, All I thought, as I was sitting on the back of the tricycle driver, was how things are so... different nowadays. It might seem random but I started counting how many stray dogs i found on the street and started to imagine how ferocious they mustve been before they became their domesticated counterparts of the present. It just makes me wonder. And then cam the humans: with their clothes and their language. I thought to myself, it would be weird if we were all butt naked and didnt give a damn. And that ended there, for censorship's sake.

Back to the cloud.

I never thought anything like this would actually exist in the world, brushing global naivete aside. Its just so beautiful. As cliche as it may sound but, it makes me think about the other beautiful things in my life that i indirectly ignore; it makes me grateful for what i have and i what i have become. i guess, maybe, its like i saw the perfect sunset, or reached the top of Everest. Im not saying that I have now experienced my life's epiphany and that i would go out and volunteer to every charity starting tomorrow, its more like... yeah, maybe I shouldnt be so sad about things. I have been for quite some time now and it took a little pushing for me to get back on my feet. This bird cloud helped. Im not sure how, but it did.

Had a talk with a friend recently about how i act and how i should react and he gave me some tips on it, which i was grateful for, although maybe i wasnt able to fully express that emotion at the time thanks to my uncanny ability to look like a wall in the place of emotion... most of the time. Honestly, at that time, I took it the wrong way. Me, being the genius that I am, took it literally and was ready to start anew with my unclear new mantra in life. Im not saying the advice was wrong... it wasnt. Its just the reception in my brain was fuzzy and in need of repair. I mean, I have a LOT to learn... the good part is that im willing.

Just like the bird cloud, thinking as i type, depending on how the wind blows, or how the lead bird is flying, i have to be able to adapt to make the right shapes and curves to make things look beautiful. Thats exactly what i must keep doing, i conclude. Certain situations need certain reactions. Certain tasks need certain techniques. Certain acts of aid deserve the right thanks.

I dont know, maybe the bird cloud could have a different effect on other people. Im sure about its effect on me though.

And its good.

In other unrelated topics stated above, I just saw 2012 last night and apart from everything else, it was intense. I wouldnt say I loved it, but it made my jaw drop... which doesnt happen a lot unless youre a flock of birds flittering in the sky.

Riding The Passion Express

2009-11-09T00:42:00.000+08:00

Im, once again, at a point in my life where I have to make a decision that could lead to two different results. To put it in a gamer's perspective, I may be on my way to an alternate ending right here. Ive been given a choice to take a job wherein I may be tied down for a while. Scary. This may be so, but right now it makes perfect sense. Although it may keep me from venturing out, it is what i was looking for in the first place. What's to lose?

As a friend told me a couple of days ago, when i inquired about the choices, im still young. I have time on my side. I can try whatever i want until i actually find what it is i really want to do with my life. As of right now, this life route ive been living has led me to make a decision on leaving or staying. Now, why did i stay?

I guess we just have to refer to the title now, yeah?

Passion is such a simple word. Maybe if one is asked what it meant, it would just be something one is driven to do. Maybe others would say its the purpose for one's being. Then again, others could say its something that one can never attain and is stuck just dreaming about. I guess its different for each and everyone of us. Given a certain situation and the variety of mixed factors that surround our lives, one can say that passion is something he can chase, or has the will to chase.

*A little background on whats up*
Ever since finishing College ive been boggled about what i want to do with my life. I had some options, yes, but nothing too specific that i would know where and when to apply and for what. I just knew that i wanted to do a certain thing and thats all i was banking on. One of the main topics in my to-be list was a Teacher. I like teaching. I did it in Highschool (student teacher), in College (study sessions and having the upper hand on things... sometimes), and blah. Its something i can say im passionate about.

Now, im given the chance to do just that. im supposed to give in my letter of intent tomorrow to get the want recognized by the higher ups. Its something I hope helps me in finding out where i want to go.

Theres a reason for everything, i think.
We'll see where this takes me.

On Happiness

2009-11-08T01:21:00.000+08:00

Just stumbled across this vlog from a friend's post on Facebook and its timing is awesome. Ive been having down days recently and got myself into pickles out of my own doing. After watching this video, I think things can change for the better in terms of dealing with mood swings and the routineity of everyday life.

Check it out guys.

oh, so applicable... well, except for the break-up part. :) haha

This has been said to me numerous times before and should already be sticking in my brain. Its been bouncing off all this time, i guess. But thats going to change. Im getting myself equipped to be a happier person.

Spread the positivity. :)

Positivity... awesome word. Has a nice ring to it. Try saying it a couple of times.

Enter The Musical

2009-11-06T01:42:00.000+08:00

After years of just thinking about it, I finally tried out, or shall I say, auditioned, for an actual honest-to-goodness musical. It was all sudden, me making my decision to actually go. I found about it from a friend who needed help with a song, i was happy to help her choose. After awhile, I mentioned that maybe I should try out for it as well. I mean, there's no harm in trying, right? its something i've never done but was willing to learn from as it went... thats IF i got in. lets just say, i got a bit carried away with the idea before even getting through the audition phase.

As it went, I scoured my brain for the right song to sing. It took awhile until i settled with one song, meaning that i needed another one since two were required. Whilst thinking of the second song, i learned how to make my own Minus-One songs with the help of my best pal, Google. :D

On the day itself, I had butterflies... but pretty confident ones, strangely enough. The time i got was early morning, so it was convenient enough that id got straight to work right after and not know the results till the next week. Well, anyway, the week goes and I get an email from the Organization apologizing for not getting in. To be honest, I was disheartened. Well, thats what usually happens when we dont get what we want, right?

Anyway, i just thought id share my experience with you guys. Maybe it made me feel bad for a time, but i got back up. Im kinda glad i tried out though. I mean, there wasnt anything to lose in trying for it. it was either a win or a get-on-with-my-life situation. Maybe ill try out again, maybe i wont. We'll see.

Its funny though that after making a faux musical profile picture for my Facebook account, people seem to think its for real...

The Pizza Killer: a musical

any suggestions on what titles can come with it?

A Purpose Driven Blog

2009-11-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

Was talking to a friend today about my blog and he suggested that maybe it would make things interesting if i had a purpose for my entries... like maybe how explaining each Jelly-Belly flavor in the world and how these beans are made of magic and not sugar. :) Haha. Well, i was thinking about it and Im not sure about what purpose or goal i want for this blog. For now, it'll all be more stream of consciousness until i actually try all of Julia Child's recipes.

If anyone has any suggestions, please make yourselves heard. I mean, you can jusge my writing capabilities from my previous posts anyway....

THATS if anyone actually reads my blog...

whoever you guys are, i appreciate the attention, really.

Christmas Breezed

2009-11-01T14:43:00.000+08:00

I know its quite early... well a month, at least, but hey! I feel it. My hands are shiverred and carols are being played all over. Just today, i downloaded Michael Buble's Christmas songs and... well, im stuck. I miss the snow.

I heard Ill Be Home For Christmas today. Memories start rushing in on what the song means to me. I can actually say that its my favorite Christmas song for many different reasons... Maybe because of the time that i spent in the States, away from my family. Or maybe the time that i had to sing this solo for a Christmas gig and screwed it up and became one of the signature things i did for the group. About that though, it wasnt really my fall that i remember. Its how i got back up that leaves an impression on me. The many friends that stood by me at the time, telling me that it would all be ok. Sure, i took a leave of absence... or maybe went AWOL from the group because of embarassment, but all in all, im back with them and am still enjoying.

This Christmas will be different for me. Itll be more special. Im with a great team at work, things in my personal life could never get better, and everywhere... things are looking up.

Its all good.

I miss the snow. Someone do something about that... haha. :) just kidding.
Oh, and i bought everyone coffee at work after hearing the song...

Christmas spirit is here to stay.

Back and Bloggin'

2009-10-31T23:37:00.000+08:00

Im not sure how many times i've "made a comeback" into the blogosphere, but i just dont seem to get tired of it. This is not because I was inspired after watching Julie&Julia.. well, maybe partly because of that. I loved the film, by the way.
Anyway, hi again! I think its about time i stick to this and stick to it good.

Its been how long now since i wrote here... well, maybe since i started bloggin via multiply, which by the way isnt the best device for this sort of thing anymore, at least in my opinion; I barely even open my account anymore. Makes me wonder about what I should do about the photos I have stored there... Oy. Was just leafing through my past posts in this blog and boy, was i full of drama. Not to say Im not anymore, its just better regulated these days. Everyones got a lot on their minds but its how it gets to them that matters.

Would just like to share something of a life-changing experience with you guys. Ive actually been trying out this new mantra of gratefulness i learned from J. Mraz. I seem to have lost it along the way though and am trying to get things back on track.
Hopefully i can get back on it soon. Although the good thing is, nothing much has been eating me up from the inside out like before and it feels great... heck, thinking about it that way has me feeling great right now.

Well, this is just another start of a flurry of posts that should soon come in the following days. Hope you guys still appreciate my ramblings... I sure do.

Till the next.

Eds

Testing Things Out

2008-02-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

Okay, Im just testing out the relatively new Multiply cross-posting feature. hehe.

Don't be surprised

2006-12-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

well, I'm movin' again. just check out my multiply account for any updates if you find my life THAT interesting. hhahaha

songjunkee1018.multiply.com

Ripple Effect

2006-08-31T11:08:00.000+08:00

"I threw a pebble in the lake of emotions..."

Doesnt it suck knowing that one action can create a chain reaction that is uncontrollable. I had to learn that the hard way.

I have a friend who is going through some tough times and i feel like i have something to do with the big emotional pile up my friend is going through. I was told that i shouldn't worry too much about the situation but i cant help it. I want to help, really! but my friend is just closing up to outside forces. i guess its one of those dilemmas that one has to personally face. Its just too darn crazy! I just want to sit down and have a talk with my friend. help in the venting process. im part of the mess, i should at least help in the clean-up, right?

Tme To Ponder: My Grades

2006-08-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

Well, like the title says, i ponder... the term's done and theres nothing to do but wait for the next one to arrive... ehehe! hope i get to go to the beach this term break. but first, come course card day, i have to be able to pass all my subjects. Even one "0.0" would really devastate me! I wouldn't know how to handle things... and besides, if i fail, i can kiss my privelages goodbye! I wonder if i'll get grounded because of it? hmmm... Thank you to INTRECO and RELTWO for making my life a hell of a lot easier this term (note the uber sarcastic tone) haha! XD

And so it ends

2006-05-21T16:49:00.000+08:00

Last day to slack off... Its the last day before school starts.

Another Kind of Green

2006-05-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

Aside from it being my new favorite song, one of the lines in John Mayer's new single really made its mark in me. "And I dont need another kind of green to know that im in the right side..."

The line speaks for itself. Yeat another one of them applicable to an Edsel's life song. For some reason, i feel so optimistic about my life at the moment. Everything is going well, no hassle whatsoever. Im having a great last-slack-around-before-school-starts weekend. I feel super!

Flipping A Switch

2006-05-09T19:08:00.000+08:00

If anyone got to read my blog in my Friendster account, they should know who im gonna be talking about here. Well anyway, as some of you should know, i went through a series of emotions that led me to conclude that I didnt want it anymore. well, its been a month now and i still think that i should go out with her. It just makes so much sense to me to be with her. Well, it isnt official or anything, im just a pursuer in hopes that something would develop. So there, I am still very into her and we are going out sometime when she gets back from her vacation. ha!

Like the title says, Im like a switch. It just flippen to "on" again. sorry for the confusion to those i ranted off to in school about the whole ordeal.

A Puzzle In Need Of Pieces

2006-05-09T18:34:00.000+08:00

This thought often surfaces my space-out sessions... What do i really know about myself? its really weird but im sure most people feel the same about themselves. The usual questions would be, "What do i really want?" or "Where is my life leading me?" its really strange that people have to go through life without really knowing their true purpose.

As i was walking from the parking lot to a mall after failing to run an errand (well, the shop was closed by then) i had my usual self-ranting-moment. One line blew me away as i casually made my way into the mall while (discreetly) talking to myself, "I hate walking around with no purpose!" Me of all people should be shocked at what i said. I used to think that having nothing in mind was ok, explains my whole space-out sessions right? but still, to look at it big-picture-wise, yeah, it bugs me! i have no idea what i want to be when i get out of college. i find it frustrating that most of my friends have an idea of what could happen to them in the future while im stuck debating with myself whether ill have money to spend by the end of the week. Right now, my life's main foci would be food, money, and fun. I know this is normal but its still... argh!

Like I always tell my friend Anna when we have our "My Ten Cents" episodes in school, "I see people as puzzles and whenever i learn something new, i get a piece and i know exactly where to insert it." Sure, I have done the whole puzzle thing with my friends, but the sad thing is, I havent even done one-fourth of my puzzle! haha!

Reflection #1

2006-05-02T14:31:00.000+08:00

As i sit on the roof of this summer cottage in Baguio... As the fog gets thicker and the temperature gets lower... As everyone, except for me, lay in slumber upstairs... I think. As usual, in the silence that envelopes me, I think.

Sometimes, I feel as if silence is the only thing that can really stimulate my mind into thinking about whats been going on in my life, may it be positive or negative. Sometimes I dread thinking since it gets me to realize how screwed up somethings are but at the same time, I cant wait for the next thought that would eventually give me a natural high. It would be grand if Manila was like this.

This is what I came here for, although i only realized it when i got here. I came here to relax and recalibrate myself. I get very little opportunity to do this.

As I walked around the village we stayed in... As i see the children playing in the park... I get a sense of relief. This is really the place i want to be right now. Especially in the middle of all the emotions that have been bombarding me lately. I got away from it all and now im maximizing my time here.

In shorter terms...
...This feels right.

Day 2 of the Baguio trip... hurrah!

2006-05-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

Well, i thought it was day 3 already! haha! it isnt! its still tuesday. gotta wait till friday to get back to manila.

anyway, last night may be one of the worst nights i have ever had trying to get some rest.
Reasons:
1. Matress-pillow-blanket+very cold climate-pj pants=disaster
2. I ran out of load. Cant text anyone anymore.
3. Had to use a damp towel as my blanket.
Sounds like fun, right? haha! Nice!

We just came from Burnham park where we rode a boat and then went shopping for second hand goods in the nearby "ukay-ukay" chains. Bought nothing, thank goodness. i want to save money! I'm not really good with handling moola. haha!

Oh yeah! Yesterday, we went to Wright park. Its where all the horses hang-out. haha! well, i just realized how much i miss riding horses. When i got on the horse i was thrilled! Me and the horse ran around the trail and it felt great (i was riding the horse... i wasnt just running around with the animal! hehe!) now i think i have something to look forward to whenever we all go to baguio again. hehe!

the wonders of technology

2006-05-01T01:39:00.000+08:00

im in baguio right now and im using my mom's laptop. hehe. she has that new raom thing installed so she can access the internet from wherever... or should i say, work can get hold of her wherever she hides... i mean goes on vacation. haha!

anyway, we arrived in baguio at around 12mn and for the first time, i did not fall asleep in the car on the way here. 5 hours with my eyes wide open listening to frank sinatra, tom jones, and lea salonga (not by choice). haha! cool thing is, my friend kat is also in baguio as i write this down. in the same village but in a farther street. shes staying over at the hotel whilst we stay in the house of one of our relatives. Uber cool! the weather is so awesome.

well, ill finish the ranting some other time.

tt[y'all]l

Post-beachin'

2006-04-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

yep, just came fome from a 5-day beach trip and yep, if anyone dares ask, i tried to get a tan. Funny though, it doesnt seem like it if you ask me, mr. perpetual whiteness. haha! the worse thing is everyone keeps rubbing it in my face! "Why arent you dark?" well, what am i supposed to do? vent... BLOG. Hence the title of this post. haha!

anyway, back to the beach trip, lots of crazy things happened! especially on the last night of the vay-K. its the first time i ever made a TV smoke. weird but true. i was playing [PS2] when suddenly, the screen starts smoking. Panic-Chaos-Mayhem! Fun though! it still works, i tried it again. Well, aside from that, we had the usual bonding ceremonies. Well, for those of you who dont know, only 5 of us in the whole group got to go soak up the sun since everyone else seems to be taking summer classes. So, i learned a lot about my friends that night. hehe... maybe even more than i could handle, but i aint saying them here.

anyway (yet again) i have come up with so many things about me during the stay there. I am a very indecisive person. so much that it could be the death of me. haha! its so crappy. in really not sure why im going through this but hey! i am. guess i gotta deal with it the best way i can... well, i still have to descover what course of action i have to take to "deal" with the current issue whilst i am bombarded with everyday nuisances caused by the same issue. Argh! Gimme a break! haha!

Venting done! time to move on.

P.s. i think i got a LITTLE red-ish. i wonder why im the only one seeing it though.

Resto Review

2006-04-07T19:57:00.000+08:00

Just wanted to share with y'all. I found another great place to grab some grub!

The restaurant is called, "Uno" and they serve great food there! The seafood is exquisite! The pasta... left me speechless (and really full, i might add). They break their own bread!

You can find it across CPK in T. Morato!

Coolness!

No shoes, no shirt, no problems!

2006-04-05T20:06:00.000+08:00

And so it is, my first year in college ends tomorrow. So much has happened these past three terms. And nothing but a smirk can fully describe the events that transpired. I guess i expected too much, right? No BIG celebration to end it all off. Just the thought that i get to relax for how many weeks before i have to get back on my feet. As i keep thinking far into the future something distracts me...

"Blues, what blues? Hey I forgot 'em. The sun and the sand and a drink in my hand, with no bottom. No shoes, no shirt, no problems."

I dont expect anyone to know this song since no one really listens to country here in the Philippiines. It is the epitome of what i want my summer to be. I do NOT want to worry about anything until school starts again. I just want to sit back, relax, and take things nice and slow in the baking summer heat.

Goal: To bronze up (if Edsel-ly possible) and de-stress. Yes-yes, its only temporary, but hey! at least it happened, right?! hehe! no matter how short things can last, the point IS that it became part of your reality.

(by the way, the song is by Kenny Chesney)

Breezin' through

2005-12-06T10:58:00.000+08:00

the second term of my first year of college is already ending... what the-?! didn't it just start?! well, i guess i cant do anything about it huh.

anyway, i should be studying now coz i have a philiosophy quiz later but then again... look at me now! Ha! im in front of the computer! well, its nothing new... not to brag or anything but i never really studied for anything in my life. but i do pass. Weird. I just find some sort of distraction to delay my supposed study "habits". Like i said, its my first year in college so i guess changed will have to be made soon. I cant keep this up and expect to graduate without opening a book.

At least im having fun right? (while it lasts) but stress always seems to get me at the end of the day. i guess thats the same for anybody else in the world right? we've been having performances all week! im part of the school pops orchestra and im having a blast (aside from the friction now and then which by the way is lessening every week) its so awesome! the feeling you get when you're performing in front of an audience! Adrenaline boost!

Thats it for now.